Rebecca has been having some troubles lately. Out of all the five days of the week, not one of them has she slept all the way through.

The trouble being her mother, of course. Rebecca and her mother had been sharing a bedroom since as long as they both could remember (a couple of months or so) but up until now this had not been a problem. The trouble was Rebecca’s teeth!

“REBECCAAAAAAAAAAARGH!” her mother would roar in the dead of the night with her hands tightly covering her ears and her mouth rattling backwards and forwards. Her mother couldn’t STAND the sound of Rebecca’s grinding teeth!

Bruxism is characterized by the grinding of the teeth and typically includes the clenching of the jaw. It is an oral parafuncional activity that occurs in most humans at some time in their lives. In most people, bruxism is mild enough not to be a health problem. While bruxism may be a diurnal or nocturnal activity, it is bruxism during sleep that causes the majority of health issues and can even occur during short naps. Bruxism is one of the most common sleep disorders.

After those five torturous nights, it became clear to the pair that something had to be done!

“The dentist,” her mother explained to Rebecca with a sympathetic face as she held down Rebecca’s flailing arms and gagged her fuming face.

“The dentist is the only option!” she explained, “It’s either the dentist or the electric chair.”

At this, Rebecca knew something serious was up and her suspicions were confirmed on the morning of her dental examination. Rebecca awoke with an agonising pain in the jaw, though she had had a completely sound night. Despite the pain, Rebecca was so relieved with this rest that she quickly shook awake her mother with a grin of satisfaction. She had triumphed against bruxism and consequently may have escaped the horrible, nasty dentist!

As Rebecca’s mother opened her eyes to see what all the fuss was about she was greeted with a face to turn the dead to stone.

“OH MY GOD THE GRINCHHHHHH AGGGGGH OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” screeched the mother, reeling in horror at her worst fears come to life (Rebecca’s mother had had to have several years of therapy after seeing The Grinch for the first time). Rebecca’s teeth were protruding at an almost horizontal level from the front of her mouth and appeared to have tripled in size! The brick-like structure of the teeth left her jaw drooping due to incapacity and her lips had ballooned after one of the canines that Rebecca had been sharpening for a few weeks had broken through the dry skin.

Rebecca began to cry at the use of the G-word but this movement caused the pain in her mouth to intensify to a level she could no longer stand. She flung herself about the room, smashing her head against the walls, the bed, into the fish bowl in vain attempts to take her mind off the pain! It was no use, as Rebecca’s teeth seemed to grow the more she struggled.

Curiously, Rebecca put her hand to her mouth and felt around at the entirely new structure that had formed so miraculously over night. It was incredible! Her hand moved along until she felt a crunching in her mouth. This panicked Rebecca, who had a high opinion of her looks and couldn’t have crumbling teeth ruining her perfect visage. She touched the crumbling region and screamed in terror as her large wotsit coated tooth fell apart under her touch. SHE WAS DYING!

“SAVE ME SATAN! SAVE MY GUPPY!” she screamed as more of her teeth fell about into the back of her mouth. Rebecca, exhausted, fell to the floor and collapsed in a pool of blood, cracked teeth, tears and nose excrement. She decided to go to the dentist after all.